Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”
Why does this not have any notes?
lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”
“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”
“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”
this video had me laughing so hard
She was born to do crappy infomercials
Here she is 10 years later
REBLOGGING FOR THE INFOMERCIAL
“DOES YOUR CURLING IRON DO THIS?! IF SO, GET THE MAGIC WAND!” Or whatever else has been invented by then.
i wanna play twister with someone really hot
oops i fell & touched your whole body
isn’t it amazing how quick you get up once you’ve realized you’ve overslept
How most people look when they sneeze:
How I look when I sneeze:
i can never NOT reblog this :)
been staring at this for the last 5 mminutes
Love Miranda. Such fun! 😂
- 1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?
- 2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?
- 3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?
- 4: Do you find it easy to trust others?
- 5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?
- 6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?
- 7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?
- 8: Are you close with your dad?
- 9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?
- 10: What are you listening to?
- 11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?
- 12: Do you like hickeys?
- 13: What time do you go to bed?
- 14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?
- 15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?
- 16: Do you always answer your texts?
- 17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?
- 18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?
- 19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?
- 20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
- 21: Is anyone else in the room with you?
- 22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?
- 23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?
- 24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?
- 25: In the past week, have you cried?
- 26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?
- 27: Do people ever call you by your last name?
- 28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?
- 29: Do you have a best friend?
- 30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?
- 31: Who was your last call from?
- 32: Are you mad at anyone?
- 33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
- 34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?
- 35: How many more days until your birthday?
- 36: Do you have any summer plans yet?
- 37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?
- 38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?
- 39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?
- 40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?
- 41: Do you think age matters in relationships?
- 42: Are you available?
- 43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?
- 44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?
- 45: Do you believe exes can be friends?
- 46: Do you regret anything?
- 47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?
- 48: Did you ever lose a best friend?
- 49: Was your last kiss a mistake?
- 50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?
- 51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?
- 52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?
- 53: What was the last thing you ate?
- 54: Did you get any compliments today?
- 55: Where are you going on your next vacation?
- 56: Do you own anything from other countries?
- 57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?
- 58: Where have you lived most of your life?
- 59: When was the last time you took a long drive?
- 60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?
- 61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?
- 62: Who do you text the most?
- 63: What was the last movie you saw?
- 64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?
- 65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2010?
- 66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?
- 67: Do you curse around your parents?
- 68: Are you happy with where you live?
- 69. Picture of yourself?
- 70. Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?
- 71. Have you ever been dumped?
- 72. What do you most like about making out?
- 73. Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?
- 74. When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?
- 75. What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?
- 76. Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?
- 77. Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?
- 78. Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?
- 79. What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?
- 80. Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?
- 81. Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?
- 82. Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?
- 83. Do you miss your last sweetie?
- 84. Last time you slow danced with someone?
- 85. Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?
- 86. How can I win your heart?
- 87. What is your astrological sign?
- 88. What were you doing last night at 12 AM?
- 89. Do you cook?
- 90. Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?
- 91. If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?
- 92. Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?
- 93. What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?
- 94. Name four things that you wish you had:
- 95. Are you a player?
- 96. Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?
- 97. Are you a tease?
- 98. Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?
- 99. Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?
- 100. Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?
- 101. Hugs or Kisses?
- 102. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
- 103. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
- 104. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?
- 105. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?
- 106. Do you flirt a lot?
- 107. Your last kiss?
- 108. Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2011?
- 109. Have you kissed anyone in the past month?
- 110. If you could kiss anyone who would it be?
- 111. Do you know who you’ll kiss next?
- 112. Does someone like you currently?
- 113. Do you currently have feelings for anyone?
- 114. Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?
- 115. Ever made out with just a friend?
- 116. Are you happier single or in a relationship?
- 117. Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it.
Ruby Tuesday was nuts-o tonight.
We had 67 reservations from 4:30-8:30 at night. All 55 of our tables were taken at every moment until 7:45, and there were 14 servers, 3 hosts, 4 bussers, 2 expos, and a shit ton of cooks.
It was awesome!
She cheated on her bf and for revenge, he gave her a gift full of cockroaches and locked her in the car.
- 1: Do you have a crush at the moment?
- 2: Have you ever been deeply in love?
- 3: Longest relationship you've ever been in?
- 4: Have you ever changed for someone?
- 5: How is your relationship with your ex?
- 6: Have you ever been cheated on?
- 7: Have you ever cheated?
- 8: Would you date someone who's well known for cheating?
- 9: What's the most important part of a relationship?
- 10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?
- 11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on "breaks"?
- 12: How many people have you ever hooked up with?
- 13: What's one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship?
- 14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?
- 15: Do you believe in the phrase "age is just a number"?
- 16: Do you believe in "love at first sight"?
- 17: Do you believe it's possible to fall in love on the internet?
- 18: What do you consider a deal breaker?
- 19: How do you know it's time to end a relationship?
- 20: Are you currently in a relationship?
- 21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends?
- 22: Do you think people should date their friends?
- 23: How many relationships have you had?
- 24: Do you think love can last forever?
- 25: Do you believe love can conquer all things?
- 26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn't approve of?
- 27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?
- 28: Do you think long distance relationships can work?
- 29: What do you notice first about another person?
- 30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual?
- 31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness?
- 32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?
- 33: Do you want to get married one day?
- 34: What do you think about getting your partner's name tattooed?
- 35: Could you be in a relationship without sex?
- 36: Are you still a virgin?
- 37: What's more important: Looks or personality?
- 38: Do you enjoy love films?
- 39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses?
- 40: Have you ever had a valentine?
- 41: What's your imagination of a "perfect date"?
- 42: Have you ever read "Romeo & Juliet"?
- 43: What's more important: Your partner or your friends?
- 44: Would you consider yourself "romantic"?
- 45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends?
- 46: Have you ever been "friendzoned"?
- 47: Which "famous couple" is your favorite?
- 48: What's your favorite love song?
- 49: Have you ever broken someone's heart?
- 50: If you're single, why do you think you are?
- 51: Would you rather date someone who's rich but a douchebag or someone who's poor but a nice guy?
- 52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships?
- 53: Are you jealous of couples when you're single?
- 54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on facebook)?
- 55: Would you consider yourself "clingy", "overly attached" or "jealous"?
- 56: Have you ever "destroyed" a relationship?
- 57: Do you think it's silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart?
- 58: Are you the "dominant" or the "submissive" part in a relationship?
- 59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner's birthday or your anniversary?
- 60: What's your opinion on open relationships?
- 61: Who's more important: Your partner or your family?
- 62: How do you define "cheating"?
- 63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate?
- 64: Do you think Valentine's Day is overrated?
- 65: Would you consider yourself a "cuddler"?
Valentines Day Message!
To anyone who reblogs this, i will personally send you a valentines message today! Every one of you! so reblog, and later enjoy a sweet message! i have some cupids who’ll be sending them with me! Enjoy <3
- 1. What is your middle name?
- 2. Are you wearing makeup?
- 3. What colour is your toothbrush?
- 4. Approximately how many posters are hung up in your room?
- 5. What does your hair product smell like?
- 6. Where would rather be right now?
- 7. What is the temperature outside?
- 8. Have you ever dyed your hair? If so what colour?
- 9. What is the funniest word you know?
- 10. Name your favourite band starting with the letter 'M'
- 11. What is your favourite pick up line? And has anyone ever used it on you?
- 12. Describe your first icon using only verbs
- 13. What is the most expensive thing you have ever bought with your own money?
- 14. State your favourite letter of the alphabet
- 15. What is your favourite accent?
- 16. How did you celebrate the new year?
- 17. What do you call a brown fizzy drink that usually comes in a can?
- 18. Do you like fish?
- 19. What is your most used tag?
- 20. Would you rather ask someone out or be asked out?
- 21. What is your favourite Olympic sport to watch?
- 22. Have you ever dumped anyone?
- 23. What do you want to be when you grow up?
- 24. Have you ever been to the United States? If so, where?
- 25. What instrument have you always wanted to play?
- 26. Describe your dream partner's eye colour
- 27. What do you order at diners?
- 28. Coffee or espressos?
- 29. What is the most annoying song on the radio at the moment?
- 30. How many contacts do you have on your phone?
- 31. What type of music player do you own?
- 32. Describe your favourite painting
- 33. What was the best present you have ever received?
- 34. Spring or Fall? Why?
- 35. What was the last text you received? Who was it from?
- 36. Would you ever paint your room pink?
- 37. What colour is your underwear?
- 38. Favourite perfume scent?
- 39. What celebrity do you think needs to drop off a cliff?
- 40. Do blue eyes turn you on?
- 41. What meat do you prefer in a sandwich?
- 42. Would you ever wear a sweater to school?
- 43. What is the name of your current ringtone?
- 44. Glasses or contacts?
- 45. What shoes do you normally wear to school?
- 46. Where is your nearest television?
- 47. What is your favourite vegetable?
- 48. When was the last time you drank milk?
- 49. What was your lowest grade in school?
- 50. Are you using Google chrome?